Cluster Balloons, Flying for Dummies

By:      Norm Goyer

A number of helium inflated rubber balloons are tied together and attached to a harness or a pilot's seat.

I often amuse myself by assigning categories to various subjects, such as pilot competency. Now I know that this will probably get a lot of hate mail but remember, these are just my thoughts, not the website publishers just me, with my warped sense of humor. For instance I categorize pilots in this order:

Astronauts who pilot the shuttle, not those who clean out the can

Marine fighter pilots, when I went through the Navy system they were giving the top 10% of the class the opportunity to fly with the Marines.

Navy fighter pilots, landing at night on a wildly pitching deck, is the deal breaker on these pilots.

Air Force fighter pilots: The varied skills needed for modern stealth and STOL aircraft demands the highest quality pilots man the controls.

Military helicopter pilots: Some of the exploits coming in from the battle fields are unbelievable, these guys and gals can sure fly their choppers.

Airline pilots: Either are great or not so great, depending on their real skills and training.

I don’t believe that I am going to delve into the snake pit of general aviation pilot skills, the accident rate tells that story quite vividly.

At the very bottom of the list are the balloonists with a subcategory of cluster balloonists, these are the folks that were never able to make a 25 cent balsa wood glider make a successful flight. They should do their flying on flight simulators, Ferris wheels and roller coasters and stay out of the sky.

This cluster balloon, and its pilot, are seen as they pass over the cliffs on the English seaside.

Now that I have 50% of the pilots getting ready to write me a nasty letter I will continue my rap on balloonists. There are different types of balloons, hot air (most popular, powered with propane burners), gas balloons, inflated with lighter than air gases such as helium and nitrogen. The early Zeppelins were dirigibles (rigid inner structure). Blimps such as the Goodyear type are simply shaped gas bags with a power and passenger pod hanging beneath the gas bag. There is a subcategory for hot air balloons and they are called Hopper balloons. These are smaller than the ones with a multi passenger wicker basket. These have no basket; the pilot is attached with a harness attached to the propane heater. Next are the cluster balloonists, they inflate large weather rubber balloons in a large group or cluster. Some add water bottles as ballast to be jettisoned to control descent . A stick with a pin on it for bursting the balloons or separate strings of balloons that can be released to allow the balloon to descend. The first cluster balloonists making the front pages was Larry Walters, who had no prior ballooning experience, attached 42 helium-filled weather balloons to a lawn chair and lifted off  in 1982. He intended to rise just a few hundred feet , but underestimated helium’s lifting power causing his tethering strap to break prematurely. Walters quickly rose to nearly 3 miles over 50 times his intended maximum altitude. Walters reportedly had planned to control his altitude by using a pellet gun to selectively pop some of the balloons. However, he was initially hesitant to shoot any balloons, as he was concerned about falling out due to a loss of stability. Reaching a high altitude and seeing no other way of getting down, he eventually shot some, facilitating his descent. This year at AirVenture cluster balloonist Jonathan Trappe took off with his bunch of balloons and flew over the Great Lakes while posting on the Internet. Trappe is the current hero of cluster balloonists. On May 28, 2010, Sky News reported Jonathan Trappe’s crossing of the English Channel by cluster balloon. Trappe departed near Challock, England, crossed over the White Cliffs of Dover at St. Margaret’s Bay, and made landfall again over Dunkirk, France. Trappe then tracked inland, and landed safely in a farmer’s cabbage patch in France.

Hopper balloons are smaller and do not have a basket for passengers. They are tied to their pilots with a harness.

Balloonists carrying passengers must have an FAA lighter than air private certificate. I am not sure if the FAA has caught up with the cluster balloonists as yet. As soon as they can figure out how to make a buck I am sure they will start the process. I know that I should not make fun of folks who want to fly but lack the money, ability, or intelligence to pass the various written tests, and of course the dreaded flight physical. As long as they use common sense, don’t injure anyone on the ground, I suppose there is no harm, other than an airliner packed with 300 people running into one, the airliner might even survive but there is no hope for the brave pilot swinging away beneath his balloons.

This is what a well dressed helium balloonist wears when making long distance flights.